Except on the weekends, I really don’t eat breakfast.
I just don’t usually have the time.
I would much rather go to lunch early.
I love lunch.
I love it more than dinner.
Dinners can drag on for hours which is all good if you are enjoying the people you are with, but otherwise it can be a pain.
I also like happy hour.
I love happy hour.
I destroy happy hours.
I am rambling. Anyway, anyone who knows me, knows there are a few go to places that I go for lunch.
One of those places at the time had another fairly frequent lunch guest.
After about the fifth or sixth time of running into each other, we just started eating together if we happened to be there at the same time.
It eventually evolved into even if either of us were dining with other people, we all would have lunch together.
It got to the point where this was happening about once a week.
She is a B+ list celebrity.
In the past, when she has made headlines she can be a 15 minute A lister.
This has happened two or three times.
We kind of knew each other through now one of her ex-family members.
Enough where when we first started running into each other at this very unpretentious place that we would say hi.
That is another thing about dinner.
I think people are always trying to one up each other about where they have been.
I like trying new places, but only if I know they have good food, not because everyone suddenly decided they should go there because it has celebrities there all the time.
Anyway, one day at lunch I am there with two guys from the office and our B+ lister is there with one of her clients who probably has always wanted to be a Real Housewife and lives her life like she is auditioning for a spot on the show.
So, in walks the celebrity’s soon to be ex.
They were almost divorced at that point, but not quite.
It was an angry divorce.
There was nothing quiet about it at all.
Anyway, he is a celebrity and he comes in with no hi or anything.
Remember there are four other people at this table other than his ex and he just goes off on her with this rant.
F this and f that and how she is a wh**e and the nastiest stuff you have ever heard.
Myself and one of the guys with me start to get up to get in the middle of this and get him out the door.
As I am backing up my chair, the Real Housewife wannabe gets up in his face and starts shoving him back and going off on an equally loud rant until she backs him literally all the way out the door.
When she finished, she turned around with a huge smile on her face and we all clapped.
It was crazy.
It gets better though.
We were all about to leave.
It was maybe 20 minutes later and the relative I know who was our mutual acquaintance walks in.
She was a B+ list actress but now doesn’t really act and is still well known.
She starts to open her mouth and the Housewife wannabe is on her before she gets five feet in the door and tells her to get the f**k out.
The jaw of the former actress just drops.
She starts to say one more thing and is told one more time to get the f**k out and she does.
I have yet to have a lunch since that day to match that level of crazy.
B+ list celebrity: Rachel Roy
Client: Faye Resnick
Ex-family member: Stacey Dash (Damon’s cousin)
Ex: Damon Dash