Dear former A list singer with a very nice side gig from a celebrity family,
Next time you emerge from the bathroom, check your dress for white powder or wear something else. Goodness. Did you spill it on yourself?
Love & Bacon,
Despite becoming a huge fashion mogul, this former A list performer (singer)/reality star was not invited to the Met Gala this year because Anna Wintour thinks the fashion brand and the normal style of our A lister is beneath the Gala. I disagree.
This A list celebrity who used to be a singer and has A+ list name recognition looks amazing these days but says that her unemployed boyfriend smokes so much pot that he would rather smoke than have sex with her and they only have sex about once a month.
This B list singer/celebrity/former reality star is used to getting all the attention so when her sister started getting some at a recent photo shoot our celebrity told her sister to leave. The celebrity said that her sister needs to learn her place.
This former A list singer/celebrity who is now just an A list celebrity who does other things well too, was having drinks with her boyfriend at a bar this week and when she thought he was starting to get too drunk said, "I had an enema today for you so you better not get drunk and pass out."
Dear ___________ (dadager)
A little holiday present for you. That guy who wants to be your future son in law is spending thousands on Viagra every month to convince your daughter that he is straight. Maybe over the pumpkin pie you could talk to him about your turkey leg.
In a scene straight out of Seinfeld, this former B list boy bander and A list reality star who now is a C list reality star and married was getting changed at a photo shoot and didn't notice the two people off to the side who had a great angle and could not stop laughing at how small his equipment is. I guess we know why his A list celebrity/singer/reality star ex was always making peen jokes about him. The stylists who saw him said it was worse than Ken Jeong in The Hangover.
There is going to be another guest for the holidays at this family Thanksgiving dinner because the father of this A list celebrity has someone special in his life who he is calling his boyfriend and apparently is ready for him to meet the family. The good news is that the new boyfriend is finally able to drink legally. Yeah, apparently the old man likes them young.