Her recent marriage to her bodyguard is illegal.

The former madam to the permanent A+ list golfer and many of his friends, split not all that long ago with the former pay cable CEO. They never actually got divorced though which makes her recent marriage to her "bodyguard," illegal. That may be why the "bodyguard" was fired from his law enforcement job.

Masters

With the kind of shape this permanent A+ list golfer is in, it wouldn't be a shocker to not seem him again until the Masters next year.

Wag The Tail: The woman was murdered and our athlete had nothing to do with it. But he knows the story.

Ask this permanent A++ list golfer about any one of the women he hooked up with over the years ad he has an astonishing memory for details. Ask him about the woman he slept with in this SE Asian country and he doesn't remember a thing. You can even tell him the month and year it happened, and he can't recall. You can tell him the name of the woman and he will say his memory is foggy from that time in his life.

An empty, unlabeled pill bottle was found in the backseat

An empty, unlabeled pill bottle was found in the backseat of the permanent A+ list athlete's car. He wasn't tested for drugs. But they want us to believe nobody was paid off. The car our athlete was driving entered a steep downhill stretch of road, and then gained speed. But they want us to believe he didn't pass out at the wheel, just at the moment he would have tapped the brake, at the beginning of the downhill descent.

Did the doctor actually meet with the patient?

He had a prescription. Was it a real doctor? Yes, in the sense they can prescribe medicine. Did the doctor actually meet with the patient? Nope. The lawyers for this permanent A+ list athlete are taking great pains to remind them of another ongoing athlete case which is ensuring no leakers.

Everyone is just $oooo concerned, and Girlfriend will not leave his side for one second.

The world and media is seemingly surprised and “praying” for him. His handlers are scrambling to save what’s left of the last of his reputation (and their bank accounts!) Though they knew the problem would probably show up again, they weren’t ready for this gravy train/ cash cow to end now or in this way. He’s known for having mistresses. But we’ll nickname his ultimate favorites, “Amber” and “Vicky”. No woman can ever compete with them.