On purpose.

OSCARS: A lot of buzz last night that this celebrity offspring/frequent rehab attendee of a permanent A++ lister got married to the abusive boyfriend who nearly killed her with bad drugs a few months ago. On purpose.

She might pull a River Phoenix

With as wasted as she was, I don't think it was lost on any one in attendance that this A-/B+ celebrity offspring of a permanent A++ lister might pull a River Phoenix.

3 blinds in a row

Actually everyone in the family is worried about the drug use of the celebrity offspring of the permanent A++ lister, but only because they are greedy jerks who want her to create a will so they get her money. / Ahhh, it has been awhile since I trashed this Ryan Seacrest wannabe/serial cheater. Once again, he decided that his wife was trying to get too much fame of her own so he made her stay out of several endorsement photos which she was asked to do with him. Such a tool. / This former teen bride turned celebrity turned reality start turned porn star turned reality star turned celebrity hooked up with three guys at once this week. She doesn't know it was recorded and one of the guys is trying to sell it.

Why is it a blind? It was being filmed.

Why yes, that was a very drunk, very wasted on LSD and mushrooms B list celebrity offspring who will never reach the level of their parentage orally servicing this former A list singer/future killer. Why is it a blind? It was being filmed.

This won’t end well.

#1: She has never injected drugs before, but now this B list celebrity offspring of a permanent A++ lister has been introduced to it by her significant other. / #2: OSCARS: This B+ list celebrity offspring of a permanent A++ lister was wasted when she arrived solo at an after party.