That virginity claim needed to be protected

This B list celebrity/reality star paid two women $10K each and another woman an undisclosed amount to keep quiet about their previous sexual relationships. That virginity claim needed to be protected to ensure the big payday and the paydays in the future from his prospective employer who loves that he stayed a virgin until he was married.

The baby is Mexican and Filipino. It was the only baby available.

Baby Pillow is finally here! And wait until you hear about the surprising development in the final weeks leading up to the birth of our little one! We knew that the celebrity couple was running into trouble finding 1. a white baby 2. of the correct gender 3. that was going to be born in the right time frame 4. whose parents were willing to give up the baby for adoption during the third trimester. That’s four requirements, any one which would be challenging on its own!

There are a lot of people to pay off

Do they sell babies at Babies R Us? Because this family is trying to buy one! Adoption agencies up and down the West coast are buzzing about the "rush order" for a white baby placed by a celebrity couple that is faking the wife’s pregnancy! "I work for [redacted] in [a West Coast city] and we received a "rush order" for a Caucasian baby for [redacted]… It is ridiculously hard to find a women in her third trimester who is willing to negotiate!" Yes, we did ask what they meant by the word "negotiate." Our source quickly clarified that although it is definitely illegal to buy or sell children, that certain large monetary incentives make it much easier to procure an adopted child…

Are they both mentally ill??

Employees of a certain magazine are still buzzing about a bizarre photo shoot they did with this minor celebrity. We’ll let one of them tell the story: "Craziest fucking [photo] shoot ever! We’ve shot hundreds of pregnant women, and this one was supposed to be a pregnant celebrity mom keeping fit… except we knew that [she] WASN’T PREGNANT!!! However the whole crew we were warned not to say anything and to pretend like everything was normal! WTF?! There were lots of moms on the set and we are all usually real hands on with wardrobe and positioning etc. but on this one we were told to back the fuck off.

It’s going to be a “tragic” second trimester loss

Beyonce used a baby pillow to fake a baby bump that was being carried by a surrogate. But this celebrity couple has taken the baby bump ploy to a whole new level! We’ve told you about this married couple before. They have a reality show, and they are desperate, desperate, desperate for attention. So now they are faking a pregnancy. That’s right. She’s not pregnant. Their claim that they are going to become parents soon is fake, fake, fake. And we have some new information about how they are continuing this sham! There’s a pillow! And a bad one at that. Yes, they are using a pillow to fake a baby bump… for a baby that will never happen!