Joe Alwyn – Foxella

October 17, 2019

Literally no original thought whatsoever as the actor hit a red carpet.

Other than carefully formulated answers that sound like they came from a customer service call center, this foreign born actor had nothing to say about his A+ list singer girlfriend. Literally no original thought whatsoever as the actor hit a red carpet.

September 15, 2019

3 blinds in a row

I guess no one told the A+ list singer where the boyfriend actually went to school and that he was described as an "utter prick." / This former A list athlete won't make it through the first week of this network reality show if he keeps using drugs like he is. / The host/mogul is discovering that it is way easier to give a raise and renew a contract than to find a new beard.

March 6, 2019

It gets attention and saves a lot of awkward questions about who they are.

This foreign born A- list mostly movie actor, who is still loved by the A+ list actress was asked as a personal favor to another A+ lister to walk the red carpet with the guy the A+ lister calls her boyfriend. It gets attention and saves a lot of awkward questions about who they are.

January 23, 2019

There is nothing to ask him. It was a total bust

They had the foreign born C list actor with A- list name recognition walk the red carpet yesterday and offered him up for interviews. The thing is though, people only know him for one thing and that is something many people need to be reminded of when they hear his name. Plus, because he doesn't/can't/not allowed to discuss the thing people do know him for, there is nothing to ask him. It was a total bust.

November 24, 2018

You know when you have a good friend who knows what you want to know about someone.

You know when you have a good friend who knows what you want to know about someone. Just a definitive answer about the foreign born C- list actor with the A+ list connections. That actress friend sent me, in response to my inquiry whether she thought he would hit on her was "lolololololololololololololololol." Oh, and he was very hesitant to even discuss the A+ list connection.

November 24, 2018

3 blinds in a row

This married foreign born permanent A+ list athlete recently got some unlike him plastic surgery because he was insecure around his much younger mistress. / It didn't take long for our favorite alliterate model to unfollow the actor that this A+ list singer calls her boyfriend. By my count the follow fest lasted all of a month. / The star of the night almost ended up dead last night after yet another seizure. The multiple kid having, se-x tape having, sizzurp loving rapper was the star of the award show, but suffered a massive seizure at a party.

November 8, 2018

Look what happens when you have an A+ list singer you call your girlfriend.

When you are just below Footman #3 in the credits they don't even let you usually walk the red carpet, unless of course you are this foreign born mostly movie actor who had a PR team worthy of an A+ lister make people think he was the star. Look what happens when you have an A+ list singer you call your girlfriend.

October 7, 2018

I want a book about it someday.

Apparently this foreign born C- list actor was plucked from obscurity and into the boyfriend role by a professor who taught him at drama school. They were specifically looking for someone who wanted a career in acting, was unknown and not from the US. I want a book about it someday. The A+ lister really thought this one through this time.

August 28, 2018

No word on who exactly holds a beer bottle that way, but I digress.

There was one person who was not happy for that engagement announcement this week. This A+ list singer. She did her staged photos and has learned enough to make the pap stand slightly further back to make them look as if they possibly were not staged.

August 19, 2018

The fact he now has given up all control of his own social media to her and her people is just another day closer to completely selling his soul to be famous by association.

I guess we know now that this A+ list singer is also managing the career of the actor she calls her boyfriend. I will give her PR team credit for orchestrating one of the most on point social media beginnings ever. The thing is though, it was all so robotic that no one believes it was real or friendship based. It was just meh.

August 8, 2018

He has a group chat going with several people and is filled with memes about her

This foreign born A- list dual threat actor who some say might not return as his character in the superhero world is talking smack about the A+ lister who he once called his girlfriend. He has a group chat going with several people and is filled with memes about her battle pans and freeing her boyfriend.

July 7, 2018

She just can’t help herself and wants to show the world her relationships and that is when they fall apart under the pressure of the fantasy she tries to create.

As long as it was just simmering in the background, things could stay their course for this A+ list singer and the guy she calls his boyfriend. She just can't help herself though and wants to show the world her relationships and that is when they fall apart under the pressure of the fantasy she tries to create.