This is the longest I’ve gone without getting laid since I lost my virginity, she said.

Source: Himmmm http://www.crazydaysandnights.net

This (A- list mostly television actress on a long running network sitcom) confessed over lunch recently that being single again is not what she’d hoped it would be.

“This is the longest I’ve gone without getting laid since I lost my virginity”, she said.

She then proceeded to list all the guys, married and single, who have asked her out recently. She said they’re all looking for a mother or a maid, and that’s not her.

She then stunned her lunch partner by bragging about the satisfying online video chat sex she’s been enjoying recently with strangers.

“Some even say I look like that actress on that show and I tell them I get that all the time”, and she laughed.

With total horror, her friend asked her why she’d risk exposure with something like that?

“It’s totally safe, and it’s not like those things are recorded…right?”.

A face-palm slap later, her friend explained to her that yes – those sessions are often recorded.

And posted on porn sites.

The naive actress suddenly lost her appetite, and said she needed to run home to take care of something.

The friend paid the lunch tab out of pity for her.

Julie Bowen

Modern Family