We know that you dream about what it would be like to spend the night with your favorite foreign-born boy bander!
But in case that never happens, we’re going to tell you exactly what you missed!
Because despite his reputation of having been with lots of women (some famous), this boy bander is actually quite lame in the bedroom.
You meet him at a club. Out of all the girls in the room, he chooses you.
You go back to his hotel suite with him.
He wants to watch you undress… but he doesn’t want you to see him naked. He’ll ask you to turn around while he takes off his pants and slips under the covers.
Then you can turn around. He isn’t looking for romance.
He’ll tell you that he’s not really into kissing, so there’s no making out.
He doesn’t have much to say to you, but he does want you to talk dirty to him and tell him how hot he is.
He is small. Perhaps two inches soft, four inches hard.
He is uncircumcised.
He does wear a condom. It’s just straight sex. Missionary style.
Nothing else. It takes him less than five minutes to finish.
Then he falls asleep.
Niall Horan “One Direction”
Max George “The Wanted”