Whenever I think of baby oil and naked bodies, it is generally in a comic sense like in the movies Caddyshack or Van Wilder.
Yes, I have watched Van Wilder.
No, I am not ashamed.
Yes, I have watched the sequel, and no, I am not ashamed.
Anyway, I recently learned that there is a club for all the people that have been paid to be with this former/not going to work again/going to stay in hiding for a long time A list director. They call themselves the baby oil club.
One person who was in the club was paid by the director to be with him beginning when he was 16.
He was promised roles in movies and given a little bit each month to be with the director.
The teen said he knew when the director was going to demand sex because the director would reach for a bottle of a never ending supply of baby oil and insist the boy get them both completely oiled from head to toe.
The teen said baby oil and coke don’t mix by the way and that by the end of the night there was always a fine layer of coke stuck to the bodies because of the baby oil.
He remembers one time the director was filming what turned out to be an awful version of that classic superhero.
It was the installment with the disgraced actor in it.
Anyway, the disgraced actor also was into the baby oil game but used it to inflict as much pain as possible on to whatever barely legal teen he was with that night.
The actor would find whatever was within reach and try to insert it into places it was not meant to be inserted.
He would yell and scream at any guy who tried to get away and berate him by reminding him who was paying.
He was a truly awful human being.
For years, this teen who stayed with the director until a year or so after turning 18 was promised parts.
He got one part in all those years.
A tiny little part in a pseudo sea creature sounding movie where he played a male escort.
Director: Bryan Singer (Superman Returns)
Disgraced actor: Kevin Spacey
Baby oil victim: Nicolas Walier