March 31, 2014

She wants that best seller, and her name in every tabloid for months

This once A-list child star, now C-list celebrity clinging to the few gigs she has left has started shopping around a tell all memoir. Only unlike her rival's best seller, she's going to name names and provide pictures. The problem? She was underage for most of her encounters, REALLY underage for this encounter with this B list musician/actor, and he isn't the only one. There's probably about 15 high profile guys she slept with between the ages of 14-17, all in their 20's at the time. Coming out with this should destroy a lot of families and lives. She doesn't care. She wants that best seller, and her name in every tabloid for months.
March 25, 2014

She’s a hot mess of problems, he’s a turd with a wandering peen, and they’re broke

This C-list couple with A-list tabloid name recognition have a gloriously dysfunctional relationship. She's a hot mess of problems, he's a turd with a wandering peen, and they're broke. He was supposed to be on this season's 'Dancing With The Stars' which would have dovetailed nicely into their next project, and provided some much needed income. He had the contract ready to go, but she 86'ed it because not only would her new project not allow her to keep a watchful eye on him, but he has a steamy history with this B-list member of the cast, and they had started texting again.
February 11, 2014

She says it is the only way she can eat the food she likes

This married B list celebrity/singer who wants so badly to be A+ list and will try anything to get it binged and then purged on enough McDonald's for four people yesterday. She says it is the only way she can eat the food she likes.
February 8, 2014

When she is doing the paying then she doesn’t need those things any longer

This B+ list celebrity/singer is turning to reality television. She is also blowing through the tiny budget for the show. The celebrity is making huge demands on accommodations and trailers and everything else she is used to getting when she performs. She threw a tantrum for several hours until her demands were met. The way they were met is she is footing the bill for things she wants. It turns out though when she is doing the paying then she doesn't need those things any longer.
January 22, 2014

She’ll cook up something crazy and torch it like always

These two C-listers have a common bond...another C-lister that made them look like awful people (because they are) and had some B-list moments in the sun because of it. Even though the C-list couple have had about four horrible months and the relationship is most likely doomed, they have closed ranks and have decided to capitalize on the other C-lister's controversies. The wife of the relationship is tickled that this might be the way to keep her husband around for a while, and make him happy...and he is... and well he's just an opportunistic douche that likes to see people suffer whether or not he caused the suffering himself or not.
January 17, 2014

On their latest ‘family’ getaway, she only saw him twice

This C-list singer has had a low profile recently which is generating buzz that her new team has finally gotten her to agree to rehab. Nope. She's going to 'therapy' a couple of hours a day to shut everyone up and make it look like she's trying to be healthy, but she's back in her place of being an obsessive wingnut fueled by stimulants and booze. Her most recent record deal fell completely through the floor, and it was really her only shot at signing anything on a major label, even if it was mostly overseas. The biggest part of the problem with the deal was that they wanted her to cut her Svengali/chief enabler loose and work with some of the writers and producers she's had success with in the past, and she flat out refused.
January 10, 2014

She has ‘The Cup’ go wherever she goes

This celebrity's weight has always been the subject of a lot of gossip and headlines. She goes up, she goes down, and it's usually tied directly to what drug she is on at the time, (she goes through phases where it's all about the ecstasy or it's all about the adderall, always washed down with booze and a painkiller/Xanax chaser) most recently a dramatic weightloss that she can't wait to have in the headlines as she boasts her new, super healthy lifestyle and the wonders it's doing for her life. Well, it's not a super healthy lifestyle, I mean duh. Can't be on drugs when you're trying to be healthy, but this takes her new bizarre behavior to a whole new level.
January 8, 2014

The family vacation will go on as planned, but…

This C-list celebrity with A-list name recognition just won't give it a rest. They will save face at all costs, even if the rest of the world knows what a lout their spouse is. There could be hard, photographic evidence of this person cheating, and our celebrity would be staging their signature 'happy family' photo ops in the next breath. They should cut them loose, but they never will. Well, the holidays were a terse time in that 'happy' household. Their spouse spent most of their time with their kids from another relationship and their friends, and barely paid attention to the celebrity trying desperately to have just one last holiday together.