The Drug-Mule Diaries
“I had the pleasure (sarcasm) of being the assistant for a rock star who was most prevalent in the ’90s.
My most insane task was basically to be his drug mule.
He’d have me go all around town, picking up and delivering drugs.
I was always scared shitless that I’d get killed by some drug dealer or arrested.
But that’s not even the worst part.
“Sometimes, to mess with me, he’d have me dress up in costume to pick up the goods.
One time, that included a full-on Girl Scout costume.
I’m a dude, and yes, I still did it.
He’d also have me scout goth chicks on Model Mayhem.
I’d have to tweet to them from fake Twitter accounts and see if they’d want to hook up with my boss.
As terrible as it sounds, he was always pretty successful.”