You've probably seen my face in paparazzi photos of celebrities. I'm one of those guys in the dark suits who won't crack a smile. The reason I look so gruff is because it's my job to protect some of the biggest actors, musicians, and sports figures in the world...which means I have to be on alert every second.
Sure, there are some perks that come with the gig: I get to travel and attend A-list parties. And the pay is pretty damn good. I usually work from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m., unless a client requests that I stay longer, and I make about $75 to $100 an hour. When I travel with a client, I can make twice that. But there are also a lot of demands and responsibilities, and sometimes, my client's life (or even my own) is in danger when things get hairy.
This A list mostly movie actor has been right at the edge of A list for the past few years. Some good movies and some bad movies. As he goes up and down in weight he also goes through women just as much. This past week he was at a restaurant with her and they were seated outside. She went to the bathroom and when she came back he looked up at her and said, "Don't ever be gone that long again you fucking bitch. When people walk down the sidewalk they need to see me with someone and not sitting here by myself like some asshole who couldn't get a date." The girlfriend didn't even bother to sit down and just walked away.
This current A list celebrity/singer was told by his B list mostly movie actress wife that she was in the mood for a threesome the other night and that our singer should find someone. He did and everything was fine and then the wife got cold feet so the wife and singer dumped the third and left. The third was apparently ticked off and she got her revenge in a very public way.
This former B list mostly movie actress is now a C list who will work anywhere anytime, but the check better be large. She was supposed to be promoting a movie this week, but when the producers would not cough up an extra $50K in fees and plane tickets, our actress stiffed them.
This Academy Award winner/nominee actor who is probably a B- list mostly movie actor right now was hanging out with this former A+ list celebrity and reality star who is now a B- list celebrity who people still love to hate. Apparently he convinced her to take some drug he had just bought in a club and she did and had a seizure in the foreign club on the floor.
For the first time in almost five or six years, this former almost A list television actress who was in a very hit show for a very long time and now tries to make movies was not at the Golden Globe kiss butt party last week. Despite never being in anything much, she was a regular at the party because she was having sex with a member of the association and did it so she would get nominated if she ever did get another good role. She was ticked off last year that she did not get nominated even though it was a small role in a smaller project and broke it off with the guy after having sex with him at least once or twice a month for over five years. Did I mention the guy is married?