Knees and high heels to the balls are not fun.

Fighting my way through a horde of tourists unloaded from filled to capacity buses at The Grove a couple of weeks ago, I found sanctuary in the Barnes & Noble there.

Apparently the tourists never go in there.

I still haven’t figured it out.

Honestly I’m not sure where they go after they pile off the buses.

I think they wander around aimlessly wondering where the Farmer’s Market is.

Around and around in circles they go until someone points out it used to be a Farmer’s Market, and now, with the exception of a couple places is just food truck food minus the trucks.

I digress.

Anyway, in the bookstore, standing by the 4,000 magazines, some of which must have circulations measured in the hundreds, was this former A- list singer. She is the one person in the group who could sing.

Is it wrong to think I didn’t expect her to be in a bookstore?

She was actually reading some kind of kayak magazine.

Apparently she wanted to see some reviews on a paddle board.

This is always tough.

99% of the time I see, but don’t engage.

1% of the time I do engage though.

The problem with engaging is that you can’t say to much.

You have to be a fan, but not a psycho fan.

Even if I’m not a fan, which is the case, you have to come off as one because how else would just a random person know all this stuff about the celebrity.

How else unless they are more than a fan.

You also have to consider that if they tell you a couple or three things and they end up here, then they will search back in their memory for a fat guy asking too many questions and look for you again.

It is all a delicate balance.

No way do you ever want to say, “Hey, it’s me Enty and I wanted to ask you a couple of things.”

Knees and high heels to the balls are not fun.

Oh, I’m sure there are guys out there who pay extra for that type of service, but it isn’t me.

Even though I know nothing about paddle boards or kayaks I started talking about them.

Not riding them, because one look at me and people know I am full of crap if I act like I am doing that activity.

At first I was not 100% sure it was her.

I thought it was, but wasn’t quite sure but I asked a couple of questions about travel and knew where she had been and what she had been doing so, yeah, it was her.

I didn’t let on like I knew her.

I couldn’t because of the way I went with the travel questions.

Instead of a fan, now I was the guy in the bookstore hitting on the woman.

Yeah, not my best hope of success.

It was hot.

An afternoon and I had eaten lunch.

That means sweaty with food somewhere on my clothes.

Possibly items in my teeth.

But, I will say that I can talk.

They might not be interested in me, but I can keep them around talking.

I knew where I wanted the conversation to go.

She probably thought I was going to hit on her and expected questions like that.

What I was going for was dirt on her current employer.

I wanted it first hand from her.

I just didn’t know how to get it there without giving it away that I knew her.

Somehow though we ended up talking about the Orlando shootings and then we started talking about Pride and the next thing you know she was telling me that she used to be a big singer and performer and had a deal with a record company that was about to happen when she met a celebrity she fell madly in love with who turned out to be gay.

He just didn’t tell her that when she was falling in love with him.

She said she followed him all over the world and did his beck and call and blew off the record deal and concerts and her entire career for the guy, only to find out he was gay.

She said she was crushed but he offered her hope.

He said they should still be together and it would be great for both of them.

She says, it was only good for him because it helped him with endorsements and to have a pretty woman on his arm and she was so in love with him that she stayed.

She is telling me all of this in the bookstore 30 minutes after we met.

She says it ruined her career and that she managed to get lucky when someone bailed on a hosting gig and she got it and at least manages to earn a living.

We talked for a few more minutes and she actually gave me her number.

She did give me her first name, but never her last. It is a real number by the way.

Nicole Scherzinger – The Pussycat Dolls
Celebrity: Formula 1 World Champion, Lewis Hamilton
Hosting gig: The X Factor – Rita Ora bailed


Do you believe it?

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